Kay-Lauren

The Light Bringer To The World

The Light Bringer To The World

How does Ayurveda explain erectile dysfunction? 

If the western world has excellent sanitation, advanced healthcare, and all the food and medicines that one can think of, why can so many men not make their penises rise to the occasion? Surely if the reasons were due to sanitation, healthcare, food, or medicines, every man’s penis would be a rockstar. So how does the first and oldest medical system and science of life explain this paradox?

The reason number 1 is stress

Really? Really! The downside of the desire for wealth, luxury, success, power, prestige, status, material and social establishment, and women is stress. When one chases these values, one pays in stress. And stress does not make the penis stand. Just think, dear reader, about your emotional disposition. It will highly likely be easy to find stress. Because men who do not feel stress and surf sites on which they find this article are few. Exception proves the rule.

The reason number 2 is emotional

Stress is an emotion. A man whose penis doesn’t rise is not entirely happy whether he recognises or admits it or not. He usually does admit it when he opens up in coaching. But coaching is unfortunately a rare occasion for men to open the hearts and express emotions. The at least western society forces men not to express emotions! When a man cries, he is weak. Crying is for women. When a man gets emotional, he makes others cringe – or is gay! Emotions are for women and homosexuals.

But men are beings with hearts too. So how can you tell a heart not to feel? After all, men are also romantic, artistic, dreamers. All these dispositions are emotional. A heart feels the same whether it belong to a man or a woman. So if men are not to express emotions in the world, of course it reflects on their sex. Emotions propel sex as much as physical urges.

The reason number 3 is what and how a man eats and drinks

This may annoy readers who are adamant that they won’t let anyone lecture them on changing their favourite food and drinks. Fine. We all choose our lives every second. Exactly as you chose to read this article for which I thank you and you will hopefully thank yourself one day, so those readers choose whether they want erectile function or dysfunction. If they want function, something has to give. The truth that what and how a man eats and drinks makes the penis rise or not rise stays true nonetheless.

Ayurveda explains how it can help here

I mentioned dhatus in my first article about Ayurveda and sex. The dhatus were irrelevant for the point of that article. But they are at the core of relevance now. If a man eats incompatibly combined foods and drinks drinks that are poor in nutrients, the dhatus will not be nourished. The dhatus are the structural blocks of the body: plasma, blood, muscles, fat, bones, bone marrow, reproductive fluids. The penis is a muscle. Blood circulates through the penis.Reproductive fluids come out of the penis. If one dhatu is not sufficiently nourished, nor will be the successive dhatu.

The dhatus go in the order in which I named them. The order is fixed, not interchangeable. Therefore if we speak of only blood, muscle, and reproductive fluids, we speak of the second, third, and seventh dhatu. A man must eat and drink very healthily if the reproductive fluids are to be of high quality as they are the last dhatu. Hence all the dhatus before the last one must be well nourished in order for the nutrients to get to and nourish the last one. This is a topic that shows that a man’s way of eating and drinking therefore also directly affects sperm count.

But back to the dhatus. If the plasma doesn’t get proper nourishment from food and drinks, nor will the blood, nor will the muscle, therefore the penis won’t have the strength to stand.

And how Ayurveda explains erectile dysfunction by the dosha…

I explained the 3 doshas – physical constitutions – in the article about Ayurveda and sex and won’t repeat myself here. One click will take you to the explanation. So we continue. Vata men have erectile dysfunction the most often. Because they don’t eat well. Vata people do not eat regularly, do not eat at times of the day when the digestive tract is best disposed to process food, and often do not drink enough fluids. A man who eats erratically will inevitably not be properly nourished. So his penis won’t stand.

Vata people are often insecure, full of fear, emotionally unstable. One day they’re dressed, the next day they sing and dance. Emotions power and do not power erections. Emotional dysfunction = erectile dysfunction.

Pitta people have high digestive fire. They usually eat regularly as they cannot be hungry because when they are hungry, they are weak or dizzy. But as their digestive fire is high, they often eat too often, which is the other extreme of vata eating. If people eat too often, toxins form from particles of food that the digestive tract did not have time to digest before the next meal. The toxins then penetrate the plasma, blood, muscle, fat, bones, bone marrow, and reproductive fluids. Pitta people also like alcohol which is serious poison to all the dhatus. And pitta people love living luxurious lifestyles, which has the price of frequent eating, alcohol, and other unhealthy habits.

Besides all that pitta people move the economy. They are the workaholics, they are the executives, academics, and high professionals. These professions generate pressure and stress and we’re back to the first section of this article. When one is stressed, the penis doesn’t stand. And to alleviate the stress many folks drink coffee, alcohol, smoke, etc. Those things also don’t make penises stand.

Kapha people have their own problems. They love to eat and thus often eat even without being hungry. That makes them easily get fat. Obesity does not rise the penile muscle. Obesity makes people want to sit and eat more, hate exercise, be lazy and lethargic. This vicious circle can spiral into depression. So with all these factors it is easy to see how Ayurveda explains kapha people’s erectile dysfunction.

How Ayurveda explains erectile dysfunction

should now make perfect sense. The good thing is that a man can change several of the factors mentioned here easily and free of charge. If you scream that you can’t change them easily, I’m not a coach and holistic companion for nothing. I can gladly help you with my knowledge of NLP and Ayurveda. We can start a conversation.

An ad for coaching among ads for sex? Why? And why not?

The society is broken, people are broken. Hence coaching will have only higher value. And that applies in all spheres of life - sport (where coaching came from), business, personal affairs, and especially the defunct adult industry which counts under personal affairs. Men who have to pay for women have problems somewhere in life. That's a pragmatic fact no matter how rude, crass, coarse, raw, or confrontational it may sound to some readers. Many of the men who must recourse to buying sex or even human company have problems that reach far more widely than the men themselves. Examples are problems with children, partners, work... but mainly expressing feelings. When it all becomes too much, they resort to escapism - or therapy.

There's a difference between therapy and coaching, and I'm a coach.  Coaching is appropriate for people who do basically well and want to do better. An example is that men have enough money, good families, dearly love their partners, but want more better intimacy. So they do basically well in life, but want to do better in one sphere which isn't good and therefore negatively affects other spheres of life.

While escapism feels good, it is a short-term distraction that does not fix the root cause. It can moreover create dependence, addiction, ugly vicious circles which can destroy lives in the long term if they circle too far out of control. Plus the people who earn from these false pleasures do not add value, but rather deepen the misery.

Coaching is not the same as having sex. Men want sex because sex is deeply wired in them and they need it. But men also have sex as an escape route from the hassle of having to sort out family problems or upset their home comforts. Some men profess that sex with strangers is the spice of life, fun, exciting, raises the adrenaline. This is a valid point. But no matter what anyone says, the fact that if a man must buy sex or even just human company, it reflects a sad  soul.

I could be one of the billions of women who sell sex on escort and "escort" directories. I could be the billion first who deepens the misery and cares only about how much she gets. But I never liked and never will like being of the billions. And I care firstly about contributing something clean and valuable to individuals and thus the society and secondly about how much I get. So I advertise coaching among ads for sex because why not? And also because that is where men will find it and pay attention when they find it. Why not do something different? Many a radical idea changed the world. If only I could change the worlds of these successful yet sad men, I would. Why not?

If you have been a friend for years, I dearly hope that you will let me continue to change yours. And if you are a stranger who came across this article by serendipity, I would like to change yours.

Ayurveda, doshas, sex.  Well, dear reader, as far as I know no one has brought light to the man of this world on this subject in writing so far. I'm not the light bringer to the world for nothing! So as I always live up to the name, I decided to be the first to write about how Ayurveda explains why your partner never or rarely wants sex when you do! I guarantee you that after reading this you will understand yourself and your partner much better!

Ayurveda

Ayurveda is a Sanskrit word which means the science of life. And a very profound science and the oldest of all sciences it is indeed! It has no beginning and no end, hence no one knows exactly when it came to existence. We know only that it has existed for more than 5,000 years - and longer every day as time flies. It originates in India, but does not belong to the Indians. Ayurveda is for everyone in every country and its mission is to heal the world. It heals if used well, for it is a medical system. But it is not only a medical system. It incorporates quantum physics, philosophy, psychology, and much more. And of course, Ayurveda - the science of life - incorporates sex! More will become clear as you read on.

Ayurveda teaches that the human body consists of three fundamental categories: doshas (subtle elements)dhatus (plasma, blood, muscles, fat, bones, bone marrow, reproductive fluids) and malas

The doshas and the elements

The dhatus and malas are not relevant for the topic of this article. Like everything else, the doshas (literal translation is faults) comprise the five basic elements. And different elements predominate in different doshas. Every person has the three doshas. And their proportion forms the genetic makeup - the physical constitution - of every person. The first dosha is vata, composed of space and air. The second dosha is pitta, composed of fire and water. And the third dosha is kapha, composed of water and earth. This information will be useful later.

As Sanskrit is a profound language and the English language is not sufficient for accurately translating words from Sanskrit, the names of the doshas are difficult to translate into western terms.  The closest translation of vata is the bodily air - the principle of movement - that which moves everything in the body. But the air in the external atmosphere is not the same as the air in the body. Vata is the subtle energy that governs all movement in and of the body.

Pitta is translated as fire, although the term does not mean the fire of a candle or in a fireplace. It is the digestive fire, the bodily heat energy which manifests as metabolism. Pitta governs digestion, absorption, assimilation, nutrition, metabolism, temperature, skin coloration, the lustre of the eyes, intelligence, and understanding. Pitta out of balance arouses anger, hatred, fierce competition, and jealousy.

The translation of kapha is biological water. Water is the main constituent of kapha,  therefore kapha governs everything liquid in the body and more. However, as kapha also has earth predominant, kapha holds all the elements of the body together, gives physical structure, and maintains resistance. Kapha is also responsible for  attachment, greed, longstanding envy, calmness, forgiveness and love.

A balance among the doshas is necessary for health. The air principle kindles the bodily fire, but water is necessary to control the fire so that the fire does not burn everything. Vata moves kapha and pitta since kapha and pitta are immobile.

The attributes of the doshas

To understand why your partner does not want sex when you do we must know the attributes - qualities - of the doshas. So the attributes of vata are light, clear, cold, mobile, dry, rough, subtle. Imagine cold air flying out of a bottle and you will know the attributes of vata. Pitta is oily, light, hot, sharp, mobile = spreading, smelling badly, liquid. Imagine bile and you'll know the attributes of pitta. Kapha is heavy, cold, oily, sticky, dull, soft, firm. Imagine mud and you'll know the attributes of kapha.

Of course, the attributes also manifest in the psychological and emotional sphere. And this is the bridge to the topic of this article. So since vata is like cold air out of a bottle, vata people want to fly - without direction. They're often creative. Indeed, many artists are vata. And due to the subtle attribute of vata they're immensely happy cheerful folks when they are balanced. The light and mobile qualities of vata make them want to fly from thing to thing - and from relationship to relationship! They're therefore quick to start and just as quick to finish things and relationships if they have the direction to finish them at all! Their speaking and acting can be immensely chaotic as one cannot tell air which way to fly!

Imbalanced vata is insecure, afraid, anxious, often low on confidence. Vata people therefore often stay in relationships out of fear of being alone even if they don't want to be in them if they don't have the confidence to finish them. Hence vata people either finish relationships quickly as they get bored easily or bottle feelings up and stay in relationships out of fear even if they don't want to be in them. They are also unfortunately often misunderstood by society as the western society is set up by and for pitta people.

The western society is set up by and for pitta people. Hence life has an order and everything has a place and time. The sharp quality of pitta makes pitta people's minds sharp, which lands them in high and leading positions at work. Most world and spiritual leaders are and were pitta. Pitta people are direct, don't waste words, and mean their words. The hot quality of pitta makes pitta people's tempers flare quickly. It is easy for them to get angry, especially when they are imbalanced. Pitta people don't suffer fools gladly and forgive, but never forget. The mobile - spreading - quality of pitta makes pitta people competitive and eager to spread their fame, be the best, be respected and recognised, and leave their mark or legacy.

The badly smelling quality of pitta perhaps or certainly unconsciously is why pitta people love perfumes and all things smelling greatly. They often have a lot of perfumes and like their clean organised homes to smell great as well. The predominant elements of pitta are fire and water. Fire is connected to vision, water is connected to taste. Pitta people are therefore highly visual and thus like food, homes, clothes, things nicely presented. They often seek luxury and do well in luxurious environments.

Imbalanced pitta is highly flammable, angry, hating, jealous. Imbalanced pitta people are also often arrogant, competitive through dead bodies, and domineering.

If you imagine a person who is heavy, cold, oily, sticky, dull, soft, firm, the fact that kapha people are set in their ways won't surprise you. They act slowly, and that can be very dull for people who want to fly or get results! Kapha people live in and love with the whole hearts. They care, share, and act with soft smiles. They're definitely down to earth and earthy. After all, one of the predominant elements of kapha is earth!

An imbalanced kapha is extremely attached to things, wealth, and people. Attachment can grow to greed. And longstanding envy is another negative trait of kapha.

How Ayurveda explains different preferences for sex

The light and mobile attributes of vata make people of this dosha have high sex drive and want sex quickly and immediately as the urge for it arises. When they have it, it lasts short. Vata men most often ejaculate much more quickly than they'd like and then feel that after ejaculation there's nothing else to give in the act of intimacy. The physical need is satisfied. And premature ejaculating often brings insecurity and fear of not being good enough for their partners. Hence they're as quick with the act of sex as they are with everything else in life at large.

We now know that pitta people like order, fare well in a routine, and everything has a place and time. So does sex. Pitta people like to have sex by appointment as they are busy with their often high or leading positions at work and high lives - often in luxurious dimensions! Pitta people are highly visual and therefore like order, cleanliness, colour coordination, and presentation that pleases the eyes. This is where their desire for preparing the right atmosphere for sex comes from. Candlelight, rose petals on the neat bed, the right type of music, and a nice scent in the air is a matter of course. A nice meal with some wine and then a bath or shower and perfumes are part of the preparatory ritual for sex.

Kapha people already live in and with their hearts. Hence they welcome, but don't need a luxurious atmosphere for sex. Albeit they have very high sex drive, their slow heavy attributes don't pull them to start sex. In fact, to get many kapha people to make love can be a challenge even though their high sex drive makes this a total paradox. But once you manage to get them into the mood, they're immensely attentive lovers. And the high sex drive will finally be clear to you when they show you how they can keep going while you're exhausted after the best orgasm of your life!

How Ayurveda explains why your partner doesn't always want sex when you do

Now this should be clearer. Vata people - air out of a bottle - are quick. To sail through a pitta partner's conditions and preparatory ceremony for sex bores and confuses them. Pitta people like to enjoy sex in style. Style has conditions and takes preparation. Vata partners do not have patience for that. And pitta people will rarely yield an inch from their principles! While pitta people prepare for sex, kapha partners fall asleep! When everything is ready, pitta partners must wake kapha partners up and warm them up into the mood! Vata people are too quick for kapha partners. Kapha partners are too slow for vata partners.

So what to do? Well, you have done the first thing. You can now hopefully guess whether your partner is vata, pitta, or kapha and which type you are. And you now understand the dynamic between you and your partner. When we understand, we have a choice to act. We can get our partners involved in the preparations for sex. One lights the candles, the other makes the bed... When both partners work together, the anticipation rises. Vata people will be too busy to think about quickly satisfying the urge. Kapha people will be too busy to fall asleep. Pitta people will get the style. Everyone will be happy.

By the way, if you cannot guess which type you are, contact me. I will give you a chart according to which you will determine your constitution. And when you know how to determine your constitution = type, you will be able to determine anyone's. I'm always here for you - the men of the world. And I'll write about Ayurveda and matters of sex more as I learn more.

Men who seek deep connection go online. They're willing to spend years of time, money, energy on finding it. But when one out of a million women finally offers the opportunity to create a deep connection, many men don't want it. How is this contradiction possible? (more…)

Massage is brilliant for good sleep. Why? I'll tell you in this short article which was born thanks to a conversation with a man who has been getting massage from me for years. Bless his heart and I thank him for the loyalty and inspiration! I wrote that conversations are important for a reason. But that's another article. This one is for all the corporate men who work hard, are perpetually in the fast lane, and may have bad sleep from all the beating of the corporate world.

Why is massage good for sleep?

I wrote about sleep, so won't repeat myself. Massage is not just good, but an excellent long-term treatment for sleep for several reasons. The first one is that massage relaxes the muscles and we sleep only when the body is relaxed. We won't sleep when the body is tense. It's as simple as that. The second reason is that massage relaxes the mind too. And when the mind is happy, it sleeps well. Again, no rocket science.

The third reason is that massage is a long-term ecological natural solution. While the body habituates to sleeping pills after 6 weeks and then people pay big money for no effect and only negative side effects, massage doesn't have negative side effects if it's done well, i.e. if the practitioner doesn't break your spine! In fact, massage has lots of other benefits about which I wrote years ago. Well done massage can even be better than sex and even has 4 much less obvious benefits too.

The fourth reason is that if massage is combined with aromatherapy, the healing properties of essential oils amplify the good effects of massage. And the best for last - an experienced aromatherapist will massage you with oils that promote good sleep! Two birds with one stone.

And what about the cost?

Of course massage costs time, energy, and money, be it for sleep or whatever. In a world of only rising costs of everything many folks' first objection will be that regular massage is expensive. Well, medicines also cost a bomb and will also cost only more. And the body habituates to medicines after 6 weeks while doctors are salespeople of pharmaceutical medicines and want you to pay the costs of sleeping pills for life regardless of whether the pills work. So how does that compare? At least massage always has good effects on several things, not only sleep. In other words the body never habituates to massage. And the mind definitely never habituates to health!

The second way of looking at the cost of massage for good sleep is that you'll pay a price one way or another. When the sleeping pills no longer work, what then? It'll be time to up the ante... and what's the next level? To buy more sleeping aids? They'll cost too. And won't guarantee that good sleep which a well massaged body will get. Because it's back to the first reason - when the muscles are perpetually tense and full of toxins that ever gather and never leave, sleeping aids will clearly never match the benefits of massage.

So, dear corporate man, entrepreneur, businessman, and man in every high profession which fills the body and mind with perpetual tension, stress, toxins, if you have bad sleep, I hope to have brought long sought light into your life and you'll sleep better tonight only knowing that you've finally found a way to treat bad sleep that won't harm and will benefit your health, happiness, and productivity in many ways.

How to get intimacy into marriage? This will interest all married or partnered men who haven't been intimate with their dear wives or partners for years and don't know how to bring intimacy into the marriage or partnership again even if they dearly love the ladies of their lives. Married men who most likely "solve" the problem by paying a lot of time, money, and energy to prostitutes who don't give them intimacy either while the men could pay that time, money, and energy to rekindling the magic with the loves of their lives. The intimately frustrated married man for long years knows well that the adult industry doesn't solve his problem and may even have learnt this fact the hard way before he came to my website!

I often hear men say that "but my wife doesn't have a strong sex drive". Gentlemen, remember that a woman does not need sex as much and often as a man. A woman can be without sex for long and not miss it. That's a fact of life - women are different. But when you get a woman into it, she'll last longer than you, because that is another difference between the sexes. So don't worry about her sex drive. Worry about getting her into it. And there are ways to do so. Consistently apply these ways and be patient. You'll see that she will change and intimacy will come back to you. The good news is that it is very easy to begin. Start on the levels of environment and behaviour. They are the easiest to change and can have the strongest impact.

How to get intimacy into marriage or partnership

1. Buy several pillar or even votive candles and place them on the dinner table and in the bedroom. Start lighting a candle for dinners. It's a small gesture of something very profound. Again, think how this small change to your daily dinner would make you feel if someone did it to you. You'll then know exactly how it will feel to wifey!

2. Buy some ecological and romantic form of room fragrance - an oil burner and oils to burn in it or incense sticks are best. Burn the fragrance in the evenings when you and she are at home together. Votive candles are another option, but their scent is too weak.

3. Start buying your lady little gifts. Chocolate, flowers, a candle, her favourite tea... the little daily things that she likes. Small inexpensive things. I don't know a person who doesn't like getting presies, especially if they're a total surprise - spontaneous on an ordinary day, not conditioned by holidays. These gifts will make a tremendous impact and would to you if you received them!

4. Start doing small acts of service for her that you haven't done for years. Example: make her coffee or tea or make the bed... something small mundane like that. Or secretly repair what has been broken for long and let her find it fixed.

Halfway...

5. Start touching her daily. Examples: touch her shoulder when passing her, put your hand on her thigh when sitting with her, stroke her hair while passing her once in a while, or something like that.  A small touch in passing during the day.  Nothing sexual yet.

6. When you thank her for having done or helped you with something, kiss her on the cheek or forehead or stroke her hair.  This is another small gesture that will go a long way.

7. Celebrate Valentine's Day. Light all those candles on Valentine's evening and do your best to go to bed at the same time as she. If you start touching her during the day on the day after reading this, you'll have been touching her for some time by the next Valentine's Day. That will have prepared the perfect ground for cuddling up to her in the candlelight on Valentine's eve. Just cuddle up, nothing sexual at this point. Tell her that you've loved her for all the years while you weren't intimate and will always love and protect her.  You miss the intimacy very much and would love to rekindle the magic that drove you to the altar or life together if you are not married. While telling her this just stroke her hair, shoulder, or upper arm - you get the point. And see how her heart will start melting... and even if Valentine's eve doesn't bloom into making love, you'll have gone a long way.

8. Take up dancing together.  Dancing returns magic to couples like nothing else! It's not surprising when we think about it: Where do most people go to get sex for one night? To nightclubs! Why? Because the atmosphere of the flickering disco lights, rhythm pumping through the body, sexy movements of sexily dressed bodies, and the steam from the DJ's steam machine turn us on. And so it therefore is that most relationships formed in nightclubs don't last because they're based on sex and carnal attraction. But dance is making love to music. It indeed takes two to tango. It teaches both dancers to lead and follow, to attune to each other - a powerful metaphor for life in partnership. Dance is a form of art which both dancers create. We're fulfilled and happy when we create. Hence dance makes us happy. Dance regularly - every two weeks. Make dancing an activity to look forward to.

And finally...

Try these ways, and these ways may inspire you to invent other ways. And you are always welcome to tell me about your progress. A companion in the true sense of the word, and especially a good coach is liberating to confide in. I worked on myself and evolved over the decades. Now I am far more experienced in life and therefore able to add value to frustrated married men who want to know how to get intimacy back into marriage or partnership. I helped many to rekindle intimacy in their partnerships. So I can always help you. Have YOUR interests at heart before mine. And I remind you that you'll need patience as the wifey or partner won't change overnight. But patience is a virtue, is it not?

Why does the adult industry not fulfil its role in the society? How is it possible that the adult industry which turns billions a year worldwide leaves so much sexual deprivation, violence, and harassment worldwide? How can it be that men seem to be more deprived of sex than ever at the time of the biggest adult industry it has ever been and at the age of extreme sexual liberation? Or has it always been the case, but we now hear more of it? This paradox doesn't make sense... Or does it if we look closer? (more…)

There are men who see my three roles of a companion, massage therapist, and coach as conflicting or contradicting instead of a holistic package. Those men don't look beneath the surface. Here's why these roles are absolutely not conflicting and happily cohabit in a beautiful package which holistically looks after the professional man working in the corporate and business world.

I always tell men who present the argument of my three roles conflicting with or contradicting one another that just like Apple looks after a man's technological needs, I look after a man's wellbeing. There's nothing conflicting nor contradicting about Apple selling computers, software, accessories, cases, phones, music players, accessories for them, and workshops. Apple is one stop for all technological needs of a human being. Hence instead of conflicting or contradicting it offers a whole package.

Companion, massage therapist, men's coach...

All my roles beautifully complement and enrich each other in the same way.  A massage therapist works with energy. A coach also works with energy in relationships with oneself and others. A companion hears about all sorts in conversations with the people whom she accompanies to the most diverse places and settings. The conversations which I have with people when I'm their companion enrich me as a coach. And vice versa when I use coaching in conversations to offer people new perspectives and ways to find solutions to things that they'd like to have better.

Energy is everywhere whether we see it or not.  Light is energy. Wind is energy, every person has energy. The role of a massage therapist gives me the privilege to get intimate with people on a level which conversations don't access. This profound level allows me to be attuned to people like no standard coach who doesn't combine coaching with massage. And also like no massage therapist who doesn't have training in coaching. Men open up when they relax during massage. And when they open up, they release all kinds of things.  I can help as a coach. And there's a good chance that I've heard their plights in conversation with someone whom I accompanied on a date or trip...

Massage enriches health. I coach on health, relationships, work, money, success. Hence I use a lot of knowledge of massage in coaching on health. And vice versa. When a man comes to me for a massage, I gladly offer suggestions, advice, or recommendations of nutrition, fitness, and other aspects of physical and mental health. I wouldn't do so if I didn't draw on knowledge and experience as a coach!

How the three roles enrich me - and the men who want me in their lives

Many men, most often strangers, very quickly observe that I'm very astute.  The astuteness is due exactly to the complementation of my three roles. A person who massages naked bodies, coaches naked souls, and accompanies [sometimes naked] people is inevitably far more astute than a person who performs any of these roles singly.

My role as a coach sharpens my communication and makes me astute to misunderstandings before they happen. I relate to people's differences better than a person who isn't a coach. I solve awkward situations, conversations, subjects more elegantly and easily than a person who isn't a coach. As a companion I gather experiences from all walks of life. They enrich my life and coaching. When a man reveals a subject super sensitive to him, I accept it easily because I've most likely heard it a hundred times before...

My roles as a companion and coach teach me to relate well to people of all styles of communication with all types of character. Relating well makes people comfortable with me. And when we're comfortable with the massage therapist, we'll easily relax during a massage! My role as a massage practitioner encourages me to look after my health - practise what I preach - and gather experiences of whether the tips that I share in articles on this page of my site work, what health is like, and the difference between being healthy and not being ill. Of course, I can then happily enrich coaching men on their health with my experience of it.

So finally...

if you have viewed my roles as a companion, massage therapist, and coach as conflicting or contradicting, you'll hopefully understand why they are indeed the opposite. Why they beautifully complement each other and form a holistic package which no other woman out there offers. And which the people of today's world desperately need! Even the adult industry does not fulfil its role in society now. Hence intelligent men look for something different. So if you are a professional man who wants this package, let's start a conversation!

Why is the value of coaching for men who visit adult entertainers so high? And why is it impossible to quantify by a precise figure? Because it is intangible, yet so very tangible in these men's lives! As value is intangible, it is not easy to grasp. But I'll do my best to help you do so here... (more…)

Because nobody does and because asking questions is important for the benefit of the men who see me. Why are many men shocked and suspicious when I ask many questions at the beginning of our acquaintance?

Again, because nobody else does.

Women in this field do not ask questions, hence asking many questions is not the norm. Women in this field are in it for money. Most make it blatantly obvious so that you don't have a chance to doubt that fact! So they'll tell you anything you want to hear to hook your interest and lure you into paying them a visit. These women care about your cash, not about what you want. They are robots who sell intimacy and deliver the opposite in a conveyor belt operation. They care about the numbers, the profits. Never mind the fact that you're a human being with feelings and desires. So they don't ask questions about who you are and what you want. Besides, they don't have the intellectual capacity to ask the right questions. So is it a surprise that someone who asks questions shocks?

Questions about what you want to buy

Here's an example of what I'm writing about here. Many men relate well to cars, so let's say that you want to buy a car. You go to a dealer. A bad salesman will recite a list of features and meaningless taglines. But the list of features won't address what you want in and from a car - your preferences. A good salesman will ask questions. About what you want in and from a car. He will  ask about every detail - the style, colour, features, specs. Then he'll show you cars that match your preferences as closely as possible. Or if he doesn't have a car that matches your preferences, he'll tell you.

When he asks questions about what you want in and from a car, he cares firstly about your preferences and secondly about selling. You feel that he cares about your preferences first, because there're more salesmen who care firstly - if not only - about selling... And we all spot them from a mile. The good salesman knows that it pays to care about your preferences because he will far more likely sell you a car that matches your preferences than a car that doesn't. Logical, isn't it?

Well, not to every man, as it seems from my years of experience. Albeit my friend is the executive or professional man over 35 who makes informed choices of what and especially whom he buys, I get calls from all sorts. Bless them all because every man who responds to my listing from the ocean of listings online deserves my gratitude for his interest. But since not every man makes informed choices about what and especially whom he buys, I'm inspired to shed light on this topic.

So what's the benefit of me asking many questions?

The benefit is that I find out what you want. And when I know what you want, I can give it to you, which will make you happy. After all, if you are to pay a stranger for a treat to yourself, an experience of a lifetime, an experience that doesn't happen every day, you should get that, not half of that or something that you didn't want.

Since when a man contacts me for the first time we begin a conversation. I don't know him, hence I don't know how he thinks and communicates. So I ask questions to find out - to get to know him. For the benefit of both of us. Not all men communicate clearly. And I have to find out where he is on the continuum of clear communication to know how to communicate with him so that we understand each other. Communication builds trust. And isn't trust super important in this context?

Experiences that I sell are not standard services.

They're totally personal and tailored to us - me and the man. Conversely, your treat to yourself should be a unique totally personal experience which doesn't happen every day. Nnot a standardized service.  You should feel special. You should not feel that the woman who you're with treats you like every man by rote. Hence think about it logically: don't unique experiences merit unique questions about what you want to experience? You may have burnt your fingers on women who gave you services, not experiences. Thus you came to seek a unique experience from me. You may have unique ideas of how to spend our time. And if I don't ask you many questions, how will I know? I don't see into minds. And again, not all men communicate clearly.

I also ask many questions to see whether we would be a good match.

Money never was my primary motivation for being a companion, masseuse, aromatherapist, photographer, and men's coach. Hence I don't place primary importance on profits and hooking men's interest by lying. I am the light bringer for a reason - to bring light into men's lives. Light, not more of the shite with which the international air space is crowded. I ask men questions to find out whether we have something in common and would be a good match if we met. What's the point if we're not to be a good match? If our differences are too great to be tolerable? We wouldn't get on and I wouldn't take anyone's money for what didn't feel right. Men usually come to me after the millionth disappointment, so I wouldn't want to add a million first.

And last but never least I ask men many questions to find out whether they have integrity, can be trusted, and I'd feel safe and comfortably with them. And so should you, dear reader, ask many questions of every stranger whom you consider letting into life. Because while objects can't hurt, blackmail, or deceive you, people can! Hence use common sense and give yourself time to get to know the people to whom you want to be close, even if for a short time.