Identity fraud happens in every field and aspect of life. That is why I always educate men that I will not accept withheld numbers, false names, and all other strategies that men employ to protect their identities if they want me.  I empathise with wanting to protect identities when men don't yet know me. And I agree with the cautious approach. But they can see details down to the size of my breasts all over the net. So me having their full real names, phone numbers, and email addresses must surely be fair.

In the United States high end companions and women playing other roles are notorious for wanting their prospects' home addresses, work details, drivers' licences, even passport numbers!  [God bless America!]  We all should want to protect ourselves.  This is also why I encourage men to do their research. And I practice what I preach, hence do mine. I've always had a naturally inquisitive mind which brought out the detective in me.  And here's one time when the detective struck gold!

This story of identity fraud can also happen to you

One day I received an email from a banker working for one of the big 5 Canadian banks downtown Toronto. The message instructed me to call his work number before 5:30 p.m. because "his mother was a bitch" and "after 5:30 his mother would be on his ass".   Albeit I smelt something suspicious, I called the number just to be sure that my intuition was leading me well.  I asked to speak to the man and he said that I was speaking to him. I told him that I was calling on the instruction in his email.  When he denied knowing anything about the email, I read him the email. He again denied having sent it.

The next day the correspondence continued. The writer started pouring out a lot of emotional baggage. He mentioned his ex girlfriend, her apartment number and address [in a building where my friend lived, so the address was real] having dug his gold, how she pissed him off, etc.  I rode along and kept a cool head albeit being cautious.  After a few more emails the writer suggested that we meet for a coffee downtown. I said that it would be nice, because I wanted to find out what the writer's next reaction would be.  The conversation went quiet for a few days. When the suggested date of the coffee meeting approached, I emailed to ask where we could meet when.  He did not  respond, and life went on.

After a few days

the writer wrote that he was sorry, but was sent on a business trip to New York across the [Canadian] long weekend, because his boss knew that he was single.  So that was why he didn't contact me.  At this point he asked me to call his work number again. I did. And when I spoke to the man, he again denied having sent any of those emails.  I suggested that he must have been set up and that he think through his friends and enemies.

He thanked me for being helpful and asked me to forward any correspondence. He added that he would forward it to the corporate security team. I asked how I'd know whether any correspondence would come from the real him or his impersonator. We agreed on a sign of acknowledgement.  He acknowledged receipt of my forwarding of the correspondence and that was the last time I had contact with the real man.

As if by magic,

the emails stopped.  But after over a week I received an invitation to connect on LinkedIn. Yes, from the banker.  So I deliberately accepted and observed his profile, connections, etc.  It all looked immensely real - his work details, connections from the financial world, even resume, education, everything!  Seriously, the gullible would have fallen for it without a question. His impersonator must have known him well!  However, there were a few clues that would make the more detective minds suspicious. So I was 95% convinced that I was connecting to the impersonator.

Nonetheless I went with it. The correspondence moved to LinkedIn.  I adopted a more confrontational strategy. My first question to him was whether he was the real man.  He said that he was. A few messages later I asked him why his profile photo was blurred.  Since I noticed that he changed his photo several times while we were connected and his photos were always blurred, that arose suspicion. So I went straight into it.

The writer responded that he didn't have his photo blurred.  Next the writer wrote how nice a woman I was characterwise and encouraged me to call him on the work number for a chat.  So this time I decided to back him into a corner. I suggested that he call me as I had predicted that it would never happen.

This suggestion indeed killed the identity fraud.

All correspondence stopped in a whisk, and he never called.  However, another person called - 2 months later - from Toronto police. She told me that they had caught a female impersonator of this banker, and thanked me for the important part that I had played in catching her!  I was very happy to meet a constable who brought all the email correspondence and asked me to write a statement for the courts. I duly did and all was wrapped up by the end of the second month from the incident.

So the moral of the story is:

read and respect the first paragraph. Don't mess with people, because you never know who you  mess with.  If you're hiding behind insecurities, get some good coaching! Thoroughly research women before you contact them. Expect that they have the right to do the same on you. And this article will tell you that I take discretion as seriously as prevention of identity fraud by being real and wanting men who want to associate with me to be real.