Immediately before you wash your face early in the morning fill your mouth with cool water and hold the water in the mouth while you splash cool water on the open eyes. Spit the water after washing the face. This is cooling from inside out and will make the eyes fresh, happy, and cheerful. If you don't want to splash water over the open eyes, you can use eyecups. Another effective way to keep the eyes strong are the sun salutation exercises. 12 sets of them are great for the eyes and the whole body. These exercises are best to do early in the morning.

Ayurvedic eyecare for the professional man of the pitta constitution

I explained the vata, pitta, kapha doshas in the first half of the article about Ayurveda and sex. Pitta - the energy which produces all bodily heat and governs all bodily functions related to heat - has a subtype that lives in the eyes. The 2 prevalent elements of pitta are fire and water. Fire = light, and is therefore related to vision and sight, intelligence, understanding, and many other things. Thus pitta people often congregate in the academia and higher professions. Those fields require using the eyes a lot. Pitta people read, write, study, and work on computers a lot. Many pitta people also wear spectacles from a young age.And pitta people usually logically have more problems with the eyes than vata ad kapha people.

One excellent care for the eyes is washing them with triphala powder. Buy those eyecups after all as you will need them for this. Pour boiled water from a kettle into a cup. Add a teaspoon of triphala powder, cover the top of the cup with a saucer, and leave it to cool to just warm. Strain the powder twice through doubly folded cheesecloth or 2 paper coffee filters so that particles of the powder do not stay in the water. Pour the tea into the eyecups and wash the eyes before you wash the face in the morning.

Another way is to buy pure castor oil without preservatives and put 1 drop of the oil into each eye at bedtime. Also rub 1 teaspoon of the oil into the soles of your feet. Your eyes will feel happy and fresh in the morning. If you want to soothe burning eyes, ideally make ghee at home. You will thus not have chemicals in it. Put 1 drop of lukewarm liquid ghee into each eye at bedtime. The ghee will lubricate the eyelids and lashes + soothe and strengthen the eyes. Or you can put 3 drops of pure rosewater into each eye. Rosewater is cooling.

For eyestrain put cool goat's milk on clean cotton wool pads and the pads over the closed eyes for 5 minutes. If goat's milk is not at hand, use cow's milk. But goat's milk is better.

Additional suggestions

Read sitting up. Keep the vertebral column straight while reading. Do not read lying down. Watch TV with a background light in the room. Do not watch TV with only the TV [or other] screen in a dark room. Use computer screens that don't glare. Or use filters that protect screens from glare. Gazing into sunrise [without spectacles] continuously for 10 minutes improves eyesight. And gazing into a flame of real fire or candle [again without spectacles] continuously for 5 minutes also improves eyesight. Massage of both eyes at once in circles with the index fingers from the inner corners under the eyes to the inner corners above the eyes stimulates the tear glands. This is good for people who have dry eyes.

The post Ayurvedic Eyecare for the Professional Man appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.

Erectile dysfunction

How Ayurveda explains erectile dysfunction has its own article since so many men unfortunately have it. Hence I won't repeat myself here as I value your time. A click on the link to the article will take less time than reading more paragraphs here.

Impotence

Impotence, a man's inability to have or maintain erection, can have several causes. The causes can be emotional, stress, and physical. For example, when a man has high cholesterol, fat and plaque can deposit themselves on the vessels that lead to the penis. The deposits will block the flow of blood to the penis and result in a "penis attack" in which the blood supply is insufficient to erect the penis or keep it erect. Exactly the same principle as with heart attack.

One remedy is to massage the pubic area (lower part of the abdomen) and the root of the penis with a few drops of mahanarayana oil. This will improve circulation and may be enough to cure the problem. Or one can apply either bala oil or ashwagandha oil directly to the penis. Massaging above the prostate gland [midway between the scrotum and anus] with either mahanarayana oil or bala oil or ashwagandha oil can also benefit. If you do not have the oils, you can use plain ghee. Massage with light pressure firstly in circles and then in strokes from the anus to the base of the penis. This will improve circulation. Another remedy is to drink a cup of warm milk with a pinch of saffron every night. This increases the sperm count. And finally, beneficial yoga postures are the rooster, elevated lotus, vajrasana, chakra asana, and the bow pose.

Low libido

Libido is the desire for pleasure and satisfaction. According to Ayurveda this desire comes from the male and female reproductive tissues. When there is weakness in the reproductive tissues, libido is low. Many people have low libido at middle or even earlier age. Emotional factors (which influence people at every age) and high stress (prevalent at young and middle age) are additional primary causes of low libido. It can be effectively treated with Ayurvedic programs and remedies that reduce stress and strengthen the reproductive system. Emotional factors can effectively be treated with coaching. But as always in Ayurveda, the question what is the total context of the situation arises. On one hand low libido can be a problem. On the other hand it can be a healthy response of the body preventing excessive loss of the health-giving vital fluid. From this perspective the body responds intelligently.

Intentional celibacy is different from low libido. There is immense sexual power/energy in celibacy, but a person consciously controls that energy and transforms it into supreme bliss or intelligence. In low libido the energy simply lacks. So here are several ways to increase it.

Gently press the glans penis (the head or top of the penis) with the top of the index finger. Press on the groove about one inch behind the tip of the penis. There is a marma point at the centre of the groove. Gently press for a minute or two, then release. This technique also helps to remediate premature ejaculation. You can also gently massage the glans penis with either bala oil, shatavari ghee, castor oil, or brahmi ghee. Taking the ashwagandha herb is effective internally. Add 1 teaspoon of ashwagandha powder and half a teaspoon of vidari to a cup of warm milk and drink it at night. It is better to leave the herbs in the milk for a few minutes than to mix them with the milk and drink immediately.

Food remedies for low libido

Soak 10 raw (not roasted) almonds in water overnight. In the morning peel the skins and eat with breakfast. Or soack 10 raw almonds in water overnight. In the morning peel the skins and put them into a blender with 1 cup of warm milk, 1 teaspoon of plain ghee, 1 teaspoon of natural sugar, a pinch of nutmeg, and a pinch of saffron. Thoroughly blend and enjoy this yummy drink. Or soak 10 fresh dates in a quart jar of plain ghee and add 1 teaspoon of finely chopped fresh ginger, an eighth of a teaspoon of cardamom powder, and a pinch of saffron. Cover the jar and keep it in a warm place for at least 2 weeks. Then eat 1 date a day in the early morning. These dates are one more wonderfully tasting gift of Ayurveda for low libido and sexual problems.

Another delicious remedy is to remove the skins and cores of 5 raw apples, blend or mash them into a pulp, thoroughly mix, add homey to taste, an eighth of a teaspoon of cardamom powder, a pinch of nutmeg, a pinch of saffron, and 10 drops of rosewater. Enjoy half a cup of this delicious dessert at least an hour after meals. Do not eat yogurt, milk, and fish at least 4 hours before and after eating this dessert.

Adding more garlic and onions to the diet also helps. However, these foods can be dulling to the mind which is why they're not good for meditation. So if that is your concern, add only very little of them if you don't eat them at all. And don't add more if you eat them. If meditation is not your concern, you can also mix 1 cup of milk, quarter of a cup of warm water, and 1 clove of chopped garlic. Gently boil until you have only 1 cup of liquid, and drink at bedtime. Or take 1 tablespoon of onion juice mixed with 1 teaspoon of fresh ginger twice a day.

Premature ejaculation

...is caused primarily by aggravation of vata - the biological air = that which moves everything in the body. I explained vata in the article on Ayurveda and why your partner doesn't want sex when you do. The quickness and heightened sensitivity to touch of vata predispose for faster ejaculation. A person of vata constitution cannot sustain sex for long in general. When vata is unduly increased in a person with a vata constitution, premature ejaculation is common and not surprising. Nervousness, fear or anxiety may also be involved. But this is also largely due to aggravated vata. Thus the main avenue of treatment is to balance vata.

Another possible cause is cholesterol and the related high triglycerides. Cholesterol deposits itself in the blood vessels of the penis and the whole reproductive system. The blood vessels become thick and narrow. The supply of blood to the penis and prostate is then insufficient. That causes lack of sphincter control and leads to ejaculating prematurely. But even this condition can be cured. with simple natural remedies and discipline over time.

Remedies

One remedy is to add 5-10 drops of mustard oil to 1 ounce of sesame oil and gently massage the penis. This pleasant treatment will dilate the blood vessels and thus improve the circulation of blood to the penis. IMPORTANT: do this massage at least 1 hour before intercourse and thoroughly wash the penis before intercourse. Otherwise the heating oils could burn your partner's delicate skin. You can also use castor oil which improves the tone of the sphincter muscles. Brahmi ghee, shatavari ghee, or ashwagandha ghee are good alternatives for massaging the pubic bone and glans penis before making love.

Another remedy is to practise stimulating the penis up to ejaculation, but not ejaculating. Then sit up straight (in a lotus posture if you can), pull (or suck) the anus inward, and release in a series of 10 tense-release movements. This will train the penis to be ready but not to ejaculate. You must practise with great care to succeed at this. Do this exercise 1 to 2 hours before making love. The third way to control ejaculation is contracting the muscles of the buttocks. The fourth way is to gently press the marma point at the centre of the underside on the glans penis, suck the anus inward at the same time, hold for 5 seconds, and release. Repeat 10 times. This improves the blood supply to the penis and helps to maintain erection. Do this about 1 hour before sex.

What to eat?

As premature ejaculation is a vata disorder, men with this problem should eat cooked warm oily liquid foods and few raw, cold, rough foods. Examples of raw cold rough foods are salads of raw vegetables, nuts, seeds, cereals, chips [crisps], and cold drinks. Examples of warm cooked oily foods are mashed potatoes, cooked rice dishes, curries, cooked stews, cooked apples, cooked vegetables, soups. Men who have high cholesterol should eat foods that maintain cholesterol low. Diabetic men should eat little refined sugar or ideally completely avoid it.

Where to get the oils and medicated ghees?

Mahanarayana oil, bala oil, and ashwagandha oil are not commonly sold at health stores and pharmacies in the west. Mustard oil is more commonly sold, but its quantity doesn't guarantee its high quality. One must therefore buy them online carefully. Carefully because the herbal market is in higher and higher demand and therefore more and more adulterated. I definitely don't recommend buying these oils on Amazon and from similar retailers as there is the highest chance of buying adulterated products. Every seller promises his products to be organic and natural, but that can mean anything in today's world of loose regulations, inaccurate language, and legal workarounds. The surest sources of clean products are Ayurvedic clinics and companies that produce these oils and other herbal medicines directly for Ayurvedic clinics. Google an Ayurvedic clinic near a location convenient to you.

If you want to get these oils to an address in the UK, you will get clean products from the Ayurvedic clinic. If you want to have these oils delivered to an address in the USA, you will get clean ones from Banyan Botanicals.

Plain ghee is easy, cheaper, and better to make at home than to buy in stores. Making it takes half an hour of clear time. Ghee from stores can contain additives for prolonging its life - and maximising the sellers' profits. Those additives are by the way absolutely not necessary as ghee can be stored in cupboards for years and actually improves medicinal properties with age! But a working professional man will most likely not have half an hour to make it. So if you must recourse to buying ghee, buy one with as few additives as you can get. Making medicated ghee at home is a long process, so it is better to buy it with care. The Ayurvedic herbs mentioned in this article are also best to buy from Ayurvedic clinics.

Ayurveda is an excellent and pleasant cure for sexual problems

...if one treats himself according to its principles with discipline and gives it time. Time heals, discipline makes miracles. The treatments described in this article may seem laborious, but are not more laborious than remembering to take several allopathic medicines. While allopathy manages disease, Ayurveda cures disease. As long as the toxins in the body that cause disease or vata, pitta, or kapha are aggravated, allopathic medicines will only make the problem worse. Ayurvedic treatments applied with discipline will clean the toxins and balance vata, pitta, and kapha over time. And that is how Ayurveda cures sexual problems in men determined to heal them by natural means.

Of course, one can read an article and be inspired to do what appeals. But then life goes on and most men do not do what they read. Well, doing what I can for men is part of how I heal, help, and bring light of pleasure into their lives. Doing what I can is part of our experiences together. So if you'd like to try, start a conversation.

The post Ayurveda for Sexual Problems in Men appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.

If the western world has excellent sanitation, advanced healthcare, and all the food and medicines that one can think of, why can so many men not make their penises rise to the occasion? Surely if the reasons were due to sanitation, healthcare, food, or medicines, every man’s penis would be a rockstar. So how does the first and oldest medical system and science of life explain this paradox?

The reason number 1 is stress

Really? Really! The downside of the desire for wealth, luxury, success, power, prestige, status, material and social establishment, and women is stress. When one chases these values, one pays in stress. And stress does not make the penis stand. Just think, dear reader, about your emotional disposition. It will highly likely be easy to find stress. Because men who do not feel stress and surf sites on which they find this article are few. Exception proves the rule.

The reason number 2 is emotional

Stress is an emotion. A man whose penis doesn’t rise is not entirely happy whether he recognises or admits it or not. He usually does admit it when he opens up in coaching. But coaching is unfortunately a rare occasion for men to open the hearts and express emotions. The at least western society forces men not to express emotions! When a man cries, he is weak. Crying is for women. When a man gets emotional, he makes others cringe – or is gay! Emotions are for women and homosexuals.

But men are beings with hearts too. So how can you tell a heart not to feel? After all, men are also romantic, artistic, dreamers. All these dispositions are emotional. A heart feels the same whether it belong to a man or a woman. So if men are not to express emotions in the world, of course it reflects on their sex. Emotions propel sex as much as physical urges.

The reason number 3 is what and how a man eats and drinks

This may annoy readers who are adamant that they won’t let anyone lecture them on changing their favourite food and drinks. Fine. We all choose our lives every second. Exactly as you chose to read this article for which I thank you and you will hopefully thank yourself one day, so those readers choose whether they want erectile function or dysfunction. If they want function, something has to give. The truth that what and how a man eats and drinks makes the penis rise or not rise stays true nonetheless.

Ayurveda explains how it can help here

I mentioned dhatus in my first article about Ayurveda and sex. The dhatus were irrelevant for the point of that article. But they are at the core of relevance now. If a man eats incompatibly combined foods and drinks drinks that are poor in nutrients, the dhatus will not be nourished. The dhatus are the structural blocks of the body: plasma, blood, muscles, fat, bones, bone marrow, reproductive tissues. The penis is a muscle. Blood circulates through the penis. Reproductive fluids come out of the penis. If one dhatu is not sufficiently nourished, nor will be the successive dhatu.

The dhatus go in the order in which I named them. The order is fixed, not interchangeable. Therefore if we speak of only blood, muscle, and reproductive tissues, we speak of the second, third, and seventh dhatu. A man must eat and drink very healthily if the reproductive fluids are to be of high quality as they are a product of the last dhatu. Hence all the dhatus before the last one must be well nourished in order for the nutrients to get to and nourish the last one. This logic shows that a man’s way of eating and drinking therefore also directly affects sperm count.

But back to the dhatus. If the plasma doesn’t get proper nourishment from food and drinks, nor will the blood, nor will the muscle, therefore the penis won’t have the strength to stand.

And how Ayurveda explains erectile dysfunction by the dosha…

I explained the 3 doshas – physical constitutions – in the article about Ayurveda and sex and won’t repeat myself here. One click will take you to the explanation. So we continue. Vata men have erectile dysfunction the most often. Because they don’t eat well. Vata people do not eat regularly, do not eat at times of the day when the digestive tract is best disposed to process food, and often do not drink enough fluids. A man who eats erratically will inevitably not be properly nourished. So his penis won’t stand.Vata people are often insecure, full of fear, emotionally unstable. One day they’re dressed, the next day they sing and dance. Emotions power and do not power erections. Emotional dysfunction = erectile dysfunction.

Pitta people have high digestive fire. They usually eat regularly as they cannot be hungry because when they are hungry, they are weak or dizzy. But as their digestive fire is high, they often eat too often, which is the other extreme of vata eating. If people eat too often, toxins form from particles of food that the digestive tract did not have time to digest before the next meal. The toxins then penetrate the plasma, blood, muscle, fat, bones, bone marrow, and reproductive fluids. Pitta people also like alcohol which is serious poison to all the dhatus. And pitta people love living luxurious lifestyles, which has the price of frequent eating, alcohol, and other unhealthy habits.

Besides all that pitta people move the economy. They are the workaholics, they are the executives, academics, and high professionals. These professions generate pressure and stress and we’re back to the first section of this article. When one is stressed, the penis doesn’t stand. And to alleviate the stress many folks drink coffee, alcohol, smoke, etc. Those things also don’t make penises stand.

Kapha people have their own problems. They love to eat and thus often eat even without being hungry. That makes them easily get fat. Obesity does not rise the penile muscle. Obesity makes people want to sit and eat more, hate exercise, be lazy and lethargic. This vicious circle can spiral into depression. So with all these factors it is easy to see how Ayurveda explains kapha people’s erectile dysfunction.

How Ayurveda explains erectile dysfunction

should now make perfect sense. The good thing is that a man can change several of the factors mentioned here easily and free of charge. If you scream that you can’t change them easily, I’m not a coach and holistic companion for nothing. I can gladly help you with my knowledge of NLP and Ayurveda. We can start a conversation.

The post How Ayurveda Explains Erectile Dysfunction appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.

The society is broken, people are broken. Hence coaching will have only higher value. And that applies in all spheres of life - sport (where coaching came from), business, personal affairs, and especially the defunct adult industry which counts under personal affairs. Men who have to pay for women have problems somewhere in life. That's a pragmatic fact no matter how rude, crass, coarse, raw, or confrontational it may sound to some readers. Many of the men who must recourse to buying sex or even human company have problems that reach far more widely than the men themselves. Examples are problems with children, partners, work... but mainly expressing feelings. When it all becomes too much, they resort to escapism - or therapy.

There's a difference between therapy and coaching, and I'm a coach.  Coaching is appropriate for people who do basically well and want to do better. An example is that men have enough money, good families, dearly love their partners, but want more better intimacy. So they do basically well in life, but want to do better in one sphere which isn't good and therefore negatively affects other spheres of life.

While escapism feels good, it is a short-term distraction that does not fix the root cause. It can moreover create dependence, addiction, ugly vicious circles which can destroy lives in the long term if they circle too far out of control. Plus the people who earn from these false pleasures do not add value, but rather deepen the misery.

Coaching is not the same as having sex. Men want sex because sex is deeply wired in them and they need it. But men also have sex as an escape route from the hassle of having to sort out family problems or upset their home comforts. Some men profess that sex with strangers is the spice of life, fun, exciting, raises the adrenaline. This is a valid point. But no matter what anyone says, the fact that if a man must buy sex or even just human company, it reflects a sad  soul.

I could be one of the billions of women who sell sex on escort and "escort" directories. I could be the billion first who deepens the misery and cares only about how much she gets. But I never liked and never will like being of the billions. And I care firstly about contributing something clean and valuable to individuals and thus the society and secondly about how much I get. So I advertise coaching among ads for sex because why not? And also because that is where men will find it and pay attention when they find it. Why not do something different? Many a radical idea changed the world. If only I could change the worlds of these successful yet sad men, I would. Why not?

If you have been a friend for years, I dearly hope that you will let me continue to change yours. And if you are a stranger who came across this article by serendipity, I would like to change yours.

The post An Ad for Coaching Among Ads for Sex? appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.

Ayurveda

Ayurveda is a Sanskrit word which means the science of life. And a very profound science and the oldest of all sciences it is indeed! It has no beginning and no end, hence no one knows exactly when it came to existence. We know only that it has existed for more than 5,000 years - and longer every day as time flies. It originates in India, but does not belong to the Indians. Ayurveda is for everyone in every country and its mission is to heal the world. It heals if used well, for it is a medical system. But it is not only a medical system. It incorporates quantum physics, philosophy, psychology, and much more. And of course, Ayurveda - the science of life - incorporates sex! More will become clear as you read on.

Ayurveda teaches that the human body consists of three fundamental categories: doshas (subtle elements)dhatus (plasma, blood, muscles, fat, bones, bone marrow, reproductive fluids) and malas

The doshas and the elements

The dhatus and malas are not relevant for the topic of this article. Like everything else, the doshas (literal translation is faults) comprise the five basic elements. And different elements predominate in different doshas. Every person has the three doshas. And their proportion forms the genetic makeup - the physical constitution - of every person. The first dosha is vata, composed of space and air. The second dosha is pitta, composed of fire and water. And the third dosha is kapha, composed of water and earth. This information will be useful later.

As Sanskrit is a profound language and the English language is not sufficient for accurately translating words from Sanskrit, the names of the doshas are difficult to translate into western terms.  The closest translation of vata is the bodily air - the principle of movement - that which moves everything in the body. But the air in the external atmosphere is not the same as the air in the body. Vata is the subtle energy that governs all movement in and of the body.

Pitta is translated as fire, although the term does not mean the fire of a candle or in a fireplace. It is the digestive fire, the bodily heat energy which manifests as metabolism. Pitta governs digestion, absorption, assimilation, nutrition, metabolism, temperature, skin coloration, the lustre of the eyes, intelligence, and understanding. Pitta out of balance arouses anger, hatred, fierce competition, and jealousy.

The translation of kapha is biological water. Water is the main constituent of kapha,  therefore kapha governs everything liquid in the body and more. However, as kapha also has earth predominant, kapha holds all the elements of the body together, gives physical structure, and maintains resistance. Kapha is also responsible for  attachment, greed, longstanding envy, calmness, forgiveness and love.

A balance among the doshas is necessary for health. The air principle kindles the bodily fire, but water is necessary to control the fire so that the fire does not burn everything. Vata moves kapha and pitta since kapha and pitta are immobile.

The attributes of the doshas

To understand why your partner does not want sex when you do we must know the attributes - qualities - of the doshas. So the attributes of vata are light, clear, cold, mobile, dry, rough, subtle. Imagine cold air flying out of a bottle and you will know the attributes of vata. Pitta is oily, light, hot, sharp, mobile = spreading, smelling badly, liquid. Imagine bile and you'll know the attributes of pitta. Kapha is heavy, cold, oily, sticky, dull, soft, firm. Imagine mud and you'll know the attributes of kapha.

Of course, the attributes also manifest in the psychological and emotional sphere. And this is the bridge to the topic of this article. So since vata is like cold air out of a bottle, vata people want to fly - without direction. They're often creative. Indeed, many artists are vata. And due to the subtle attribute of vata they're immensely happy cheerful folks when they are balanced. The light and mobile qualities of vata make them want to fly from thing to thing - and from relationship to relationship! They're therefore quick to start and just as quick to finish things and relationships if they have the direction to finish them at all! Their speaking and acting can be immensely chaotic as one cannot tell air which way to fly!

Imbalanced vata is insecure, afraid, anxious, often low on confidence. Vata people therefore often stay in relationships out of fear of being alone even if they don't want to be in them if they don't have the confidence to finish them. Hence vata people either finish relationships quickly as they get bored easily or bottle feelings up and stay in relationships out of fear even if they don't want to be in them. They are also unfortunately often misunderstood by society as the western society is set up by and for pitta people.

The western society is set up by and for pitta people. Hence life has an order and everything has a place and time. The sharp quality of pitta makes pitta people's minds sharp, which lands them in high and leading positions at work. Most world and spiritual leaders are and were pitta. Pitta people are direct, don't waste words, and mean their words. The hot quality of pitta makes pitta people's tempers flare quickly. It is easy for them to get angry, especially when they are imbalanced. Pitta people don't suffer fools gladly and forgive, but never forget. The mobile - spreading - quality of pitta makes pitta people competitive and eager to spread their fame, be the best, be respected and recognised, and leave their mark or legacy.

The badly smelling quality of pitta perhaps or certainly unconsciously is why pitta people love perfumes and all things smelling greatly. They often have a lot of perfumes and like their clean organised homes to smell great as well. The predominant elements of pitta are fire and water. Fire is connected to vision, water is connected to taste. Pitta people are therefore highly visual and thus like food, homes, clothes, things nicely presented. They often seek luxury and do well in luxurious environments.

Imbalanced pitta is highly flammable, angry, hating, jealous. Imbalanced pitta people are also often arrogant, competitive through dead bodies, and domineering.

If you imagine a person who is heavy, cold, oily, sticky, dull, soft, firm, the fact that kapha people are set in their ways won't surprise you. They act slowly, and that can be very dull for people who want to fly or get results! Kapha people live in and love with the whole hearts. They care, share, and act with soft smiles. They're definitely down to earth and earthy. After all, one of the predominant elements of kapha is earth!

An imbalanced kapha is extremely attached to things, wealth, and people. Attachment can grow to greed. And longstanding envy is another negative trait of kapha.

How Ayurveda explains different preferences for sex

The light and mobile attributes of vata make people of this dosha have high sex drive and want sex quickly and immediately as the urge for it arises. When they have it, it lasts short. Vata men most often ejaculate much more quickly than they'd like and then feel that after ejaculation there's nothing else to give in the act of intimacy. The physical need is satisfied. And premature ejaculating often brings insecurity and fear of not being good enough for their partners. Hence they're as quick with the act of sex as they are with everything else in life at large.

We now know that pitta people like order, fare well in a routine, and everything has a place and time. So does sex. Pitta people like to have sex by appointment as they are busy with their often high or leading positions at work and high lives - often in luxurious dimensions! Pitta people are highly visual and therefore like order, cleanliness, colour coordination, and presentation that pleases the eyes. This is where their desire for preparing the right atmosphere for sex comes from. Candlelight, rose petals on the neat bed, the right type of music, and a nice scent in the air is a matter of course. A nice meal with some wine and then a bath or shower and perfumes are part of the preparatory ritual for sex.

Kapha people already live in and with their hearts. Hence they welcome, but don't need a luxurious atmosphere for sex. Albeit they have very high sex drive, their slow heavy attributes don't pull them to start sex. In fact, to get many kapha people to make love can be a challenge even though their high sex drive makes this a total paradox. But once you manage to get them into the mood, they're immensely attentive lovers. And the high sex drive will finally be clear to you when they show you how they can keep going while you're exhausted after the best orgasm of your life!

How Ayurveda explains why your partner doesn't always want sex when you do

Now this should be clearer. Vata people - air out of a bottle - are quick. To sail through a pitta partner's conditions and preparatory ceremony for sex bores and confuses them. Pitta people like to enjoy sex in style. Style has conditions and takes preparation. Vata partners do not have patience for that. And pitta people will rarely yield an inch from their principles! While pitta people prepare for sex, kapha partners fall asleep! When everything is ready, pitta partners must wake kapha partners up and warm them up into the mood! Vata people are too quick for kapha partners. Kapha partners are too slow for vata partners.

So what to do? Well, you have done the first thing. You can now hopefully guess whether your partner is vata, pitta, or kapha and which type you are. And you now understand the dynamic between you and your partner. When we understand, we have a choice to act. We can get our partners involved in the preparations for sex. One lights the candles, the other makes the bed... When both partners work together, the anticipation rises. Vata people will be too busy to think about quickly satisfying the urge. Kapha people will be too busy to fall asleep. Pitta people will get the style. Everyone will be happy.

By the way, if you cannot guess which type you are, contact me. I will give you a chart according to which you will determine your constitution. And when you know how to determine your constitution = type, you will be able to determine anyone's. I'm always here for you - the men of the world. And I'll write about Ayurveda and matters of sex more as I learn more.

The post Ayurveda Explains Why Your Partner Doesn't Want Sex When You Do appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.

The problem lies in the fact that...

Men make the mistake of being impatient and wanting to go straight to sex. This unfortunately applies especially when men pay for supposedly deep connection, because men presuppose that the connection will automatically be deep as soon as they hand in the cash. But the reality is that even the women whom these men pay are human beings and connection between humans doesn't happen at the wave of a banknote. Sex physicalises the connection between two people. When the connection is strong, the sex has high quality. When the connection is weak, the sex is mechanical. And when a connection doesn't exist, the sex is mechanical, soulless, out of obligation.

Obligation comes into play especially when men who seek deep connection pay for sex, because women do it for money. The fact that sex physicalises the connection between two people means that the quality of sex is always a mirror of the quality of the connection. Connection is not the same as love. One doesn't have to love to have sex. But one has to connect to have sex. And since women do it for money, men seeking deep connection will ironically very rarely get it for banknotes. I don't have to repeat myself - I already said it here.

2 examples

Think of your connection with the wife, girlfriend, or life partner. Or if you're single, think of the connection with ex partners. If you are reading these words, your connection with the woman of your life can't be strong. If it was, you wouldn't be surfing the net! Another example of this principle is that when two people meet, they are physically attracted to each other. The attraction draws them to being together. They develop connection through conversation. The more they find in common, know each other's beliefs, values, humour, personality, outlook on life, the stronger their connection grows. The stronger the connection, the more sex they have. This is why couples have the most sex in the first months of acquaintance. The other end of the continuum are couples married for decades that let the connection fizzle out. Where's sex? Nowhere. Men go online seeking it from prostitutes.

How will men who seek deep connection succeed?

Men should remember that patience is a virtue even when they pay for sex. The natural progression of creating a connection is:

1. man meets woman = physical attraction
2. the two people connect through conversations. They connect through what they have in common, how they think, beliefs, values, interests, intellect, personality, sense of humour, outlook on life.
3. the connection becomes strong = physical attraction.

If men go online seeking deep connection, they are responsible for starting it.  Waving banknotes won't do it. Hence they must do it. When a man finds a woman who physically attracts him, he contacts her. Because he started the contact, he must make an effort to start the connection. If a woman does what she advertises to do, she will quickly continue to build a connection with the man. The man will know that he has found a gem. If the woman doesn't continue building a connection, the man will know that she's a money making machine whom he should avoid.

...and the benefits to all the men who seek deep connection will be...

Gentlemen, be patient and patience will definitely be a virtue. When you have the deep connection that you've been seeking (for years), you won't have to spend more time, money, and energy on seeking more. You'll look forward to seeing the woman with whom you connected and she will look forward to seeing you! That's how it should be because if we are to be true to seeking deep connection, then we should look forward to seeing each other again and again. After all, that's also the point of paying for connection! If you can't sustain free connections, you should definitely sustain connections for which you pay! But it takes two to tango - it takes two to deep connection. So you, men, are equal parts of the process. Remember this. The rewards will be amazing!

The post To Men Who Seek Deep Connection Online appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.

Why is massage good for sleep?

I wrote about sleep, so won't repeat myself. Massage is not just good, but an excellent long-term treatment for sleep for several reasons. The first one is that massage relaxes the muscles and we sleep only when the body is relaxed. We won't sleep when the body is tense. It's as simple as that. The second reason is that massage relaxes the mind too. And when the mind is happy, it sleeps well. Again, no rocket science.

The third reason is that massage is a long-term ecological natural solution. While the body habituates to sleeping pills after 6 weeks and then people pay big money for no effect and only negative side effects, massage doesn't have negative side effects if it's done well, i.e. if the practitioner doesn't break your spine! In fact, massage has lots of other benefits about which I wrote years ago. Well done massage can even be better than sex and even has 4 much less obvious benefits too.

The fourth reason is that if massage is combined with aromatherapy, the healing properties of essential oils amplify the good effects of massage. And the best for last - an experienced aromatherapist will massage you with oils that promote good sleep! Two birds with one stone.

And what about the cost?

Of course massage costs time, energy, and money, be it for sleep or whatever. In a world of only rising costs of everything many folks' first objection will be that regular massage is expensive. Well, medicines also cost a bomb and will also cost only more. And the body habituates to medicines after 6 weeks while doctors are salespeople of pharmaceutical medicines and want you to pay the costs of sleeping pills for life regardless of whether the pills work. So how does that compare? At least massage always has good effects on several things, not only sleep. In other words the body never habituates to massage. And the mind definitely never habituates to health!

The second way of looking at the cost of massage for good sleep is that you'll pay a price one way or another. When the sleeping pills no longer work, what then? It'll be time to up the ante... and what's the next level? To buy more sleeping aids? They'll cost too. And won't guarantee that good sleep which a well massaged body will get. Because it's back to the first reason - when the muscles are perpetually tense and full of toxins that ever gather and never leave, sleeping aids will clearly never match the benefits of massage.

So, dear corporate man, entrepreneur, businessman, and man in every high profession which fills the body and mind with perpetual tension, stress, toxins, if you have bad sleep, I hope to have brought long sought light into your life and you'll sleep better tonight only knowing that you've finally found a way to treat bad sleep that won't harm and will benefit your health, happiness, and productivity in many ways.

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I often hear men say that "but my wife doesn't have a strong sex drive". Gentlemen, remember that a woman does not need sex as much and often as a man. A woman can be without sex for long and not miss it. That's a fact of life - women are different. But when you get a woman into it, she'll last longer than you, because that is another difference between the sexes. So don't worry about her sex drive. Worry about getting her into it. And there are ways to do so. Consistently apply these ways and be patient. You'll see that she will change and intimacy will come back to you. The good news is that it is very easy to begin. Start on the levels of environment and behaviour. They are the easiest to change and can have the strongest impact.

How to get intimacy into marriage or partnership

1. Buy several pillar or even votive candles and place them on the dinner table and in the bedroom. Start lighting a candle for dinners. It's a small gesture of something very profound. Again, think how this small change to your daily dinner would make you feel if someone did it to you. You'll then know exactly how it will feel to wifey!

2. Buy some ecological and romantic form of room fragrance - an oil burner and oils to burn in it or incense sticks are best. Burn the fragrance in the evenings when you and she are at home together. Votive candles are another option, but their scent is too weak.

3. Start buying your lady little gifts. Chocolate, flowers, a candle, her favourite tea... the little daily things that she likes. Small inexpensive things. I don't know a person who doesn't like getting presies, especially if they're a total surprise - spontaneous on an ordinary day, not conditioned by holidays. These gifts will make a tremendous impact and would to you if you received them!

4. Start doing small acts of service for her that you haven't done for years. Example: make her coffee or tea or make the bed... something small mundane like that. Or secretly repair what has been broken for long and let her find it fixed.

Halfway...

5. Start touching her daily. Examples: touch her shoulder when passing her, put your hand on her thigh when sitting with her, stroke her hair while passing her once in a while, or something like that.  A small touch in passing during the day.  Nothing sexual yet.

6. When you thank her for having done or helped you with something, kiss her on the cheek or forehead or stroke her hair.  This is another small gesture that will go a long way.

7. Celebrate Valentine's Day. Light all those candles on Valentine's evening and go to bed at the same time as she. If you start touching her during the day on the day after reading this, you'll have been touching her for some time by the next Valentine's Day. That will have prepared the perfect ground for cuddling up to her in the candlelight on Valentine's eve. Just cuddle, nothing sexual yet. Tell her that you've loved her for all the years while you weren't intimate and will always love and protect her.  You miss the intimacy very much and would love to rekindle the magic that drove you to the altar or life together if you are not married. While telling her this just stroke her hair, shoulder, or arm. And see how her heart will start melting... and even if Valentine's eve doesn't bloom into making love, you'll have gone a long way.

8. Take up dancing together.  Dancing returns magic to couples like nothing else! It's not surprising: Where do most people go to get sex for one night? To nightclubs! Because the atmosphere of the flickering disco lights, rhythm pumping through the body, sexy movements of sexily dressed bodies, and the steam from the DJ's steam machine turn us on. And so it therefore is that most relationships formed in nightclubs don't last because they're based on sex and carnal attraction. But dance is making love to music. It indeed takes two to tango. It teaches both dancers to lead and follow, to attune to each other - a powerful metaphor for life in partnership. Dance is a form of art which both dancers create. We're fulfilled and happy when we create. Hence dance makes us happy. Dance regularly - every two weeks. Make dancing an activity to look forward to.

And finally...

Try these ways, and these ways may inspire you to invent other ways. And you are always welcome to tell me about your progress. A companion in the true sense of the word, and especially a good coach is liberating to confide in. I worked on myself and evolved over the decades. Now I am far more experienced in life and therefore able to add value to frustrated married men who want to know how to get intimacy back into marriage or partnership. I helped many to rekindle intimacy in their partnerships. So I can always help you. Have YOUR interests at heart before mine. And I remind you that you'll need patience as the wifey or partner won't change overnight. But patience is a virtue, is it not?

The post How Married Men Can Get Intimacy Into Marriage Again appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.

What's wrong with the society? Why do younger and younger men call for adult services? Shouldn't young men get sex naturally the most easily due to their vitality, rich social lives, and charm? Why do boys as young as eight watch porn?  Or why do more and more men of all ages buy sex by text message? Doesn't it fly in the face of intimacy? Wanting to be intimate with another human being? How will men resolve sexual deprivation if they don't even want to speak to the people with whom they want to have sex? Why do men still assault women when they can easily buy sex? Where's this world going?

There're solid reasons why the adult industry doesn't serve the society how it should

The first reason is that the adult industry sells an unrealistic fantasy of something as beautiful as sex. Sex is as old as humanity. After all, sex created humanity. And some say that sex sells, even though I question this notion, and so will you when you read the first paragraphs of this article. Due to sex being as old as humanity the adult industry is too ingrained in society. Not all in the industry are mercenary, but the market is set as people are prepared to pay big.

The chief reason is of course money. Human nature gets greedy... And so do people in the adult industry.  People go into the adult industry for the money. After all, it's a well known fact that many people who work in the adult industry earn good money tax free. And what a machine the industry is! Unregulated too! People who go into the adult industry don't have to study for years. Yet some earn as well as people in the noble professions who had to study for years. So money moves the world - and makes people greedy.

When we have it good, good is never enough

And greed is another major reason. When people get greedy, they want to do less for more.  Rates go up, the amount and value of service go down. And that's where the problem starts and ends around a full circle. Women charge crazy money for no value, in fact for what every human being should get free of charge and what should never be commercialised. Even the richest clients have expenses and therefore finite money. Unless they have more money than brains they must also budget and mostly can't afford liaisons with adult "entertainers" often. If the wives don't give them enough or any sex, the low frequency of men seeing adult entertainers doesn't solve sexual deprivation.

And the ultimate reason is the mindset. People go into the adult industry with the mindset of counting the money. They don't go in with the mindset of care, compassion, and treating people as human beings. I'm talking about people who go into the adult industry by choice, not by force. But nonetheless, the mindset is exactly what makes the difference.

Webmasters of adult websites don't help either

Webmasters of adult websites make the adult industry worse to a very large extent. And they make money from the misery! Why? Because they advertise misleadingly, categorise people inappropriately, advertise virtual sex, webcam videos, and artificial intelligence. None of it solves sexual deprivation because virtual sex will never be the same as sex in person. Another reason is that being stuck to screens hooked on virtual material isolates people from human contact - and encourages addictions... People usually surf adult sites alone. So how does that solve sexual deprivation when it isolates people? Sexual deprivation can be solved only by having sex in person! Sex on an electronic device won't replace healing human contact. Electronic sex will only breed and nurture addicted followers who have lost the art of social graces and what it is to be human.

And yes, there are webmasters who did not publish this article on the blogs of their sites to which I contribute! Is that a surprise? Not to me.

The adult industry could fulfil its role in the society again...

...but every individual involved in it would have to do his and her part to make it work.  People who work in it would have to start doing it with care for the human beings to whom they - ironically and paradoxically - purport to sell connection, intimacy, and what should be the most beautiful act between human beings. The people who finance it should do so with common sense, using the brain when choosing entertainers, and no tolerance for bad performance, scams, and lies. There're many men who don't have the heart not to pay for bad service. They say "I just paid her and left". But by doing so they encourage bad service.  One must sometimes be cruel to be kind. That's life.

Those who make good money from scamming would have to stop. Of course that and none of what I wrote in the previous paragraph will happen because human nature won't stop being greedy. But if every consumer played his part by buying adult services with common sense and questioning what doesn't feel right, scammers would have to stop.  And people who have been scammed would have to start using their brains so as not to fall prey again.

Honesty is the best policy. It's not rocket science, just simple honesty. Why do people in the adult industry think that luring buyers by scamming and lying is right? The best business is always done with a clean conscience and a smile on the face and in the heart. The best deals are won by and with honesty. And honesty is also what keeps customers coming back. Scamming is not necessary. And I guarantee you that even if scammers profit from dishonesty, we would all profit much more from honesty.

Consumers and webmasters of adult websites, you have the power to start changing the situation

The consumer always has the power to keep someone or something (not) existing in the world. The principle is exactly the same as with products. If people want something to be in the world, they buy it. And the reverse applies too. If buyers of adult entertainers and services buy with common sense, buyers will start the circle of improvement. Because if buyers don't suffer fools, lies, scams, and bad service gladly, workers will have to start being honest and improve their game. And if buyers buy with their heads - inform themselves about who they buy, they won't finance bad people.

The decent solid sexually frustrated citizen has long lost faith in women who - ironically - purport to fix his frustration. He knows that those women won't change. So if they won't, he can. Losing trust is understandable. But not doing anything to make things better doesn't help him nor anyone either. So you, the buyer for whom the adult industry exists, have the power to start a change for the better. It's never too late in this case. In fact, the sooner you start, the better. You, dear reader, should be one of those solid sexually frustrated citizens, because I wrote this article for you, not for workers in the adult industry. So I dearly hope that these words inspire you to start...

Finally...

And if these words do not inspire you to start and you can't be bothered, then the best way to contribute is not to engage with the adult industry. Not buying what you know that won't solve your problem. Buying what will, even if it may not always directly have to do with sex.  There is more to life than sex. Sex does not solve everything. Perhaps getting some good coaching may be exactly the way out of sexual frustration - and many other frustrations! It will certainly not create an addiction, and will get rid of the problems that lead you to buying sex. I cordially invite you to consider or even try it!

The post Why the Adult Industry Doesn't Fulfil Its Role in Society appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.

I always tell men who present the argument of my three roles conflicting with or contradicting one another that just like Apple looks after a man's technological needs, I look after a man's wellbeing. There's nothing conflicting nor contradicting about Apple selling computers, software, accessories, cases, phones, music players, accessories for them, and workshops. Apple is one stop for all technological needs of a human being. Hence instead of conflicting or contradicting it offers a whole package.

Companion, massage therapist, men's coach...

All my roles beautifully complement and enrich each other in the same way.  A massage therapist works with energy. A coach also works with energy in relationships with oneself and others. A companion hears about all sorts in conversations with the people whom she accompanies to the most diverse places and settings. The conversations which I have with people when I'm their companion enrich me as a coach. And vice versa when I use coaching in conversations to offer people new perspectives and ways to find solutions to things that they'd like to have better.

Energy is everywhere whether we see it or not.  Light is energy. Wind is energy, every person has energy. The role of a massage therapist gives me the privilege to get intimate with people on a level which conversations don't access. This profound level allows me to be attuned to people like no standard coach who doesn't combine coaching with massage. And also like no massage therapist who doesn't have training in coaching. Men open up when they relax during massage. And when they open up, they release all kinds of things.  I can help as a coach. And there's a good chance that I've heard their plights in conversation with someone whom I accompanied on a date or trip...

Massage enriches health. I coach on health, relationships, work, money, success. Hence I use a lot of knowledge of massage in coaching on health. And vice versa. When a man comes to me for a massage, I gladly offer suggestions, advice, or recommendations of nutrition, fitness, and other aspects of physical and mental health. I wouldn't do so if I didn't draw on knowledge and experience as a coach!

How the three roles enrich me - and the men who want me in their lives

Many men, most often strangers, very quickly observe that I'm very astute.  The astuteness is due exactly to the complementation of my three roles. A person who massages naked bodies, coaches naked souls, and accompanies [sometimes naked] people is inevitably far more astute than a person who performs any of these roles singly.

My role as a coach sharpens my communication and makes me astute to misunderstandings before they happen. I relate to people's differences better than a person who isn't a coach. I solve awkward situations, conversations, subjects more elegantly and easily than a person who isn't a coach. As a companion I gather experiences from all walks of life. They enrich my life and coaching. When a man reveals a subject super sensitive to him, I accept it easily because I've most likely heard it a hundred times before...

My roles as a companion and coach teach me to relate well to people of all styles of communication with all types of character. Relating well makes people comfortable with me. And when we're comfortable with the massage therapist, we'll easily relax during a massage! My role as a massage practitioner encourages me to look after my health - practise what I preach - and gather experiences of whether the tips that I share in articles on this page of my site work, what health is like, and the difference between being healthy and not being ill. Of course, I can then happily enrich coaching men on their health with my experience of it.

So finally...

if you have viewed my roles as a companion, massage therapist, and coach as conflicting or contradicting, you'll hopefully understand why they are indeed the opposite. Why they beautifully complement each other and form a holistic package which no other woman out there offers. And which the people of today's world desperately need! Even the adult industry does not fulfil its role in society now. Hence intelligent men look for something different. So if you are a professional man who wants this package, let's start a conversation!

The post Do My Roles As a Companion, Massage and Aromatherapist, and Men's Coach Conflict? appeared first on Female Independent Holistic Companion London - Toronto - International.